Amongst The Waves
by sidlelove
Summary: Sara wants to hold onto something amazing she has for the rest of her life...oneshot C/S pairing, if its not your thing dont read it


**Amongst The Wave**

**I was having a hard time writing the next chapter for Heal You, and this just hit me while listening to the song and thinking of so many things thats going on in life right now... **

**So this is a songfic and about the story, well it's pretty much wanting to hold onto something amazing for the rest of your life, i guess. The song is Amongst the Waves by Pearl Jam...hope you all like it**

**Disclaimer: I don't own any of the CSI characters and the song is of Pearl Jam, not mine...just borrowing all of it for a while...REVIEW and ENJOY pls...**

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Sara walked into her apartment and took a deep breath. The cold chill sent goosebumps over her skin. Her balcony door was open yet she could have sworn that she closed it before leaving for work. Throwing her bag on the couch, she stepped out to the balcony and let the cold night wash over her senses.

_What used to be a house of cards  
Has turned into a reservoir_

She closed her eyes and the emotions that had been bottled in her overwhelmed her. Everything she had gone through in life from childhood to teen years to her adulthood. Every step she had taken in life had brought her to where she was standing today. She had been forced to break down on a pair of weak knees yet she had always been able to stand up and walk again. And she has finally walked into something good.

_Save the tears that were waterfalling  
Let's go swim tonight, darling_

She remembered all the times she spent alone in bed unable to stop the tears from falling down her cheeks. Sometimes it amazed even her how she had been able to let go of all those memories and walk past them. She never thought that she would be able to let go of her horrifying past while she walked past death and same scenarios day after day; yet she somehow has managed that. How?

A smile crept over Sara's lips when she felt a pair of arms wrap around her waist from behind. The scent of vanilla and jasmine washed over all her senses. She turned around to face the deep blues that she couldn't stop falling in love with day after day.

"Catherine," She sighed at her partner who looked at her with questions.

"You're early," Catherine said softly before pressing her body against Sara's.

"Decided to procrastinate paper work," Sara sighed.

And one kiss on the blonde's warm lips told Sara that Catherine was the whole reason she had managed to survive from a sea she was drowning in.

_And once outside the undertow  
Just you and me, and nothing more_

Sara parted her lips from Catherine's and ran her finger over the older woman's cheeks. When she was with Catherine, she had no worry of the world. As cheesy as it sounded, she felt as if time stops when she was in the arms of Catherine. Anytime she felt trapped in her own body or suffocating in her own life or drowning in her own tears, Catherine was always able to make it all go away. She always managed to show her how beautiful life was. But what Catherine didn't know was that it was her and only her that made Sara's life beautiful.

_If not for love, I would be drowning  
I've seen it work both ways  
But I am up riding high amongst the wave_

Sara wrapped her arms around Catherine and pulled her into a hug, taking in a deep breath. She closed her eyes to remember all the times she had been at the edge of giving up and of walking away from everything to never come back. But Catherine stopped her. Her growing love for Catherine stopped her from turning her back to the world, to her friends and even to her family. And today, she was glad that she had been stopped. Because she was sure that she was one of the luckiest people living to have found someone like Catherine to share her life with.

"Are you okay?" Catherine asked softly with a hint of worry in her voice.

_Where I can feel like I  
Have a soul that has been saved_

"I've never been better," Sara let go of Catherine and smiled. "I'm so glad I found you."

"Me too," Catherine smiled, yet the worry in her voice didn't go away. "Are you sure you're okay? Did something happen at work?" She asked curiously.

"No, I'm really fine," Sara placed a peck on Catherine's lips just when a cold breeze grazed their bodies. She felt Catherine shake slightly. "Come on, let's go in."

_Where I can feel like I've  
Put away my early grave_

Without saying anything, Catherine followed Sara into the living room and sat down on the couch while Sara sat down on the coffee table in front of her. Sara took Catherine's hands and squeezed them tightly.

"You know that I'm ecstatic that I found you right?" Sara asked softly.

"You're scaring me," Catherine said quickly.

_I gotta say it now  
Better loud than too late_

"You're the best thing that has ever happened to me," Sara said with a smile. Catherine's panic subsided a little because of the smile but Sara knew that the blonde was still worried that something was wrong.

"I just really love you," Sara said in a whisper and avoided eye contact with Catherine. She felt Catherine's finger under her chin pull her face up so that she couldn't avoid those mesmerizing deep blues.

"Why are you scared to say that?" Catherine asked softly. Sara froze.

_Remember back, the early days  
When you were young, and less amazed_

Sara flashed back to her childhood, the few years she was naïve enough to think that life was not so difficult. But each and every day she kept seeing things, hearing things and feeling things that tore her belief from life itself.

"Can you read me a story please?" She remembered asking her mother one night.

"No," Her mother answered between pulls from her cigarette. "Go to bed without annoying me."

"I love you," She muttered under her breath only to have the door slammed on her face.

Sara didn't remember what she thought the rest of the night but she knew that she didn't sleep a wink. She was five years old at the time and the only nicest thing she has heard coming from her mother's mouth was "good girl" after she had done all her chores. She didn't know what affection and love meant when she was a child.

"Why do I never see dad around anymore?" She asked her mother one day during lunch.

"Why do you need to see that lazy son of a bitch?" Her mother's reply was harsh, which was nothing new.

"I miss him," She said softly.

"Well I'm sure that bastard doesn't miss you," Her mother spat loudly and left the table. And she was left alone to wonder what she did wrong.

She had never known what it was like to have a father since he was never around, and the times he was around, all she heard and saw was her mother crying. She didn't get to enjoy playing pranks with a brother because he ran away from home when he was 14 and she was 7, and he never came back. And the only thing she got from her mother was anger and hatred for something she didn't know.

_Suddenly the channel changed  
The first time you saw blood_

The smell of iron that day was overwhelming and the color of red was never that scary before. It started off as a good week for her. She was finally somewhat happy that her father had spent a whole week in the house without leaving. She had shared meals with him, sat and watched a basketball game with him and he even taught her a little how to play poker. But for some reason, her mother's temper was at the peak during the whole week. The fights between her parents were more brutal than ever before. She thought having her father around would be a good thing, especially for her mother but turns out she was wrong.

Her father was smiling at her proudly because she had gotten a star in her English homework. And that was the last thing she saw before the blood blurred her vision. Screams filled the air, one of pain and one of insanity. The next thing she remembered was being pulled out of the house by a woman whose name she couldn't remember, yet a hand she couldn't let go of. She saw her father being carried out, her mother being dragged away and the neighbors looking at her. It happened so fast, she didn't even have time to process it.

Her mind had stopped working during the time she spent with the social worker. She couldn't remember any of it. The next thing she knows was her life had turned upside down with her being put into foster care.

"Sara," A caring voice called for her from afar. Sara shook her head and gulped down a lump in her throat. "Sar?" The same voice called, more softly yet with so much more care.

It was Catherine. Sara quickly snapped out of her walk down memory lane and looked at her partner. The eyes had nothing but love and care for her. And then she smiled.

_Cut to later, now you're strong_

She wasn't that little girl anymore who didn't understand anything. She could take any step in life without someone telling her how to do it. Now she was at a point in her life where she was strong enough to share her life with someone.

_You've bled yourself, the wounds are gone_

She had seen the world, how it works, it's psychotic, sick and darkest secrets. .She had seen what humans were capable of up close and personal. And she has been able to handle all of it.

_It's rare when there is nothing wrong_

Today when she looked at it, she had nothing bad in her life. Friends who were like family, work even though depressing made her feel important and a partner whom she loved more than her own life.

_Survived and you're amongst the fittest_

She had gone through hell and back in her life. And to top of it all she had actually been at the brink of death and come back from it. And now, what's to be scared of?

_Love ain't love until you feel it  
Up riding high amongst the waves_

She was sure that she could handle anything life throws at her with Catherine by her side. Her strength, her love, her everything.

"Baby," Catherine's voice shook when she spoke again. And that really made Sara snap out of her thoughts.

"Yeah," Sara said dumbly. "I'm sorry, I drifted off for a bit." She took back Catherine's hands. "Sorry."

"Tell me what's wrong," Catherine said without asking this time.

"Nothing is wrong," Sara smiled genuinely. "I was just thinking about everything and how lucky I am to have you in my life."

"I know when something's bothering you," Catherine stood her ground.

"Baby I swear nothing is bothering me," Sara said firmly. "I just had this thought of all the crap we all have to go through in life. That's all."

"Why are you thinking about that?" Catherine kept pressing.

"Because it makes you appreciate what you have today so much more," Sara stood up and pulled Catherine up in the process. "It makes me appreciate how important you are and how much I love you."

"That's all?" Catherine finally smiled.

"That's all baby," Sara said before kissing the love of her life.

_I can feel like I  
Have a soul that has been saved_

As Sara headed into her bedroom with Catherine, she remembered all that endless hours she wandered in the desert with a broken arm and swollen limbs, never once did she think that she would be saved. Maybe because she thought she wasn't worth it or because she thought she hadn't made an impact on anyone's lives. But she was saved.

And she knew that she was given a second chance to live her life the way she yearns to live. To laugh with the people she adored, to confide in the people she trusted, to love the person she loved the most.

_I can see the light  
Coming through the clouds in rays_

Sara stood at the edge of the bed while Catherine laid and made herself comfortable. She looked like an angel dropped straight from heaven. Cheesy for many people but for her it was true. Catherine came like an angel who took her hand and lead her to a world she didn't think existed and one she would never leave without a fight now. Sara looked at the bed where she had spent countless nights along seeking for warmth and craving for help. And today, the light to all her problems was sharing that bed with her.

_I gotta say it now  
Better loud than too late  
I gotta say it now  
Better loud than too late_

Without changing from her work clothes, Sara laid next to Catherine and kissed her.

"I love you," Sara said onto Catherine's lips. "And I'm not scared to say it anymore."

"Good," Catherine smiled. "Because I love you so much too."

And now Sara knew what loving someone and being loved felt like.

_Hey...yeah...  
Riding high amongst the waves  
I can feel like I  
Have a soul that has been saved_

As she felt Catherine get onto of her and pulling off her shirt she felt chills run up her spine. But they weren't of worry, doubt or confusion; they were of joy. Catherine's lips moved from Sara's down to her neck making Sara moan.

The most Sara had felt alive was when she was with Catherine. The hardest she had laughed was when Catherine had made her laugh and the most she had loved was with Catherine too.

_I can see the light  
Coming through the clouds in rays_

Sara pushed Catherine onto her back and kissed her as passionately as she felt at the moment. When she opened her eyes to take a breath, the view took her breath away again. Catherine's eyes were closed, lips slightly apart, neck tilted slightly and a soft blush appearing on her cheeks.

When Catherine opened her eyes, Sara knew what she wanted.

_I gotta say it now  
Better loud than too late_

"I love you so damn much," Sara said in a whisper before kissing Catherine again. When she parted her lips from Catherine's the blonde grinned.

"I love you too baby," She said softly. "I love it when you say that more than once."

"Yeah?" Sara asked to which Catherine nodded and kissed her again.

_I gotta say it now  
Better loud than too late_

"Do you want to be with me for the rest of your life?" Sara asked when they resurfaced for air again.

"Of course I do," Catherine said becoming a bit serious for a minute.

"Do you trust me?" Sara asked making Catherine frown.

"More than anyone else," She said genuinely.

_Say it now  
Better loud than too late_

"Marry me…"

"Yes…"

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**Thanks for reading...lemme know what you think...thanks again**


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